She said that she had just dropped him off at school. Then she started telling about the problems she is having getting him to do things. He doesn't do what she tells him. She can't get him to take a shower. She can't get him dressed. She can't get him out of bed in the morning. She said she doesn't know what to do about it, and it is impacting Oldest Son--some days he ends up being late for school because she can't get Middle Son out of bed, and she can't leave him alone while she takes Oldest to school.
She said that she is also starting to have trouble getting Youngest Son to do things. She thinks it is because he sees that Middle doesn't listen to her, so he thinks he doesn't need to listen to her either. Which seems entirely plausible.
I didn't know what to tell her. I don't have those problems at my house. Middle Son pretty much does what I tell him. As much as a typical child would. Youngest Son does what I tell him. As much as you would expect any 4 year old to.
She said she thinks she needs a psychologist or autism specialist of some sort to come in and work with her on getting Middle to listen and do what she asks. I couldn't think of any better ideas.
I think it is going to be a huge task. She's abdicated the responsibility of making Middle listen to her for many years. It's going to be very hard to get it back.