Going to School

Youngest Son "missed the bus" yesterday.  We thought he was at school.  Then the school's automated attendance system called to report him absent.  As a teacher, MomC can't just leave to go deal with problems.  I can.  So I'm the lucky one who gets to go get Youngest and take him to school.

It's become a significant problem this year.  Most weeks I've had to get him and take him to school at least once, often twice.  And he isn't doing homework.

Some days MomC can't get him to get out of bed.  I've never had him refuse to get out of bed.  It reminds me of when Oldest Son was in Middle School.  MomC would call because she couldn't get him out of bed.  She said she even tried pouring ice water on him.  I could get him out of bed over the phone--I didn't even need to be at her house.

MomC is ok with having him spend nights at my house as a consequence--if Youngest doesn't get up on Monday, then he has to spend the night at my house on Thursday.  Monday's and Friday's are the most likely days for him to try and stay home.  If he's at my house, he doesn't give me as much trouble as he gives his mom.  MomC doesn't want him to change his residence to living with me--I've brought it up occasionally, and a few months ago she asked me to stop bringing it up.  It made her feel like I thought she was incompetent and I was a super-parent who could fix her mess.  Which is not exactly wrong.  It is a significant exaggeration.

I'm not crazy about staying at Dad's house being a consequence for misbehavior.  I think (I hope) his big objection to coming to my house is that he doesn't get to be with his beloved dog Soldier.  I'm not interested in having Soldier at my house.  He's not been trained well and is wild.

I think that overall Youngest would be better off living with me.  MomC would fight that tooth and nail.  Frankly, I don't think it would be good for me to have Youngest living with me right now.  I'm better than I was six months ago, but still somewhat fragile/frail in terms of my ability to cope with life. 

When you are struggling to stay afloat, you shouldn't pick up another rock.