Back Again

It's been several years since I posted anything.  Not for lack of things to post.  My Beloved Wife and I got divorced about a year and a half ago.  Back in May, at the strong urging of my manager, I went out on disability leave for depression.  I was out for six months.  I've been back now for two months.

One of the things that I realized while I was out was that I can't keep caring for Middle Son at this level of intensity.  Since My Beloved Wife became ex-wife number two (hereafter referred to as Wife 2) I've been taking care of Middle all by myself.  No paid or unpaid caregivers.  Just me.  Mostly it's manageable, but sometimes it manifestly IS NOT manageable.

I've do a little bit of investigation to find an external placement for him.  No luck so far.  Everyplace (except one) required that residents be able to do things like call 911 or manage their own medications, which Middle can't do.  The one that doesn't have requirements that he can't meet is in Vancouver, Washington.  Vancouver is about four hours away.  And it doesn't take Medicaid.  So that one is out too.  I don't want Middle so far away that I can't visit on weekdays.  And I can't afford to pay out of pocket.

Oldest Son is doing well.  He's working at a grocery store and seems to be happy with the work.  He was employee of the month in November and was very proud about that.  He started an architecture and design program at the local technical college this fall and is in his second quarter.  It seems to be going ok.  MomC says he really wants to move out of her house, and asked if I'd be able to help.  I can help some, but I'm not doing it unless he asks me directly.  He will need a roommate.  I'm not going to subsidize him enough to have his own apartment.

Youngest Son started Middle School this year.  He is having a hard time.  He doesn't want to go to school, especially on Monday and Friday, which are the days that they run in PE.  He says school makes him really sad.  This weekend he told me that he feels sad more often than not.  :-(  He started seeing a therapist last week.  We've met with the school counselor.  MomC asked what she thought might be going on.  We were thinking that maybe he is being bullied in PE.  The counselor said there are so many possible causes that it wasn't worth speculating.  She talked to the PE teachers and they were not able to identify any specific problem.

Middle has moved to the "Transition Academy" at school now that he has finished his senior year of high school.  The program that he's in is focused on figuring out what kind of work he is capable of and might enjoy doing, then finding him a paying job.  The program that he is in is all kids on the lower end functionally/developmentally.  It is expected that they will always need to have a job coach around to keep an eye on them.  The staff says he is doing well and it probably won't be difficult to find him a job.  One of the places that they go is a place that does horse riding therapy, and he seems to enjoy sweeping up there.  It doesn't surprise me.  He rakes leaves with great vigor and joy.  Although it's difficult to keep him pointed in the right direction.  He did a great job of spreading out mulch the last time I put mulch down.

More posts to follow.