I was telling a friend recently about my son Ethan's annual assessment with DDD. There was a representative from his group home who took part. He described how mellow and easy going Ethan is, how he will eat whatever food is on his plate, how they love having him there.
I remember writing on my blog many years ago about the profound losses I felt after Ethan was diagnosed with autism. Ethan is 25 and does not speak. He is not fully toilet trained and needs help with most activities of daily life. He'll never live on his own; he will always require supervision, especially with his seizure disorder.
One of the things that I said I had lost was getting to watch him grow up into the kind of man that I would be proud to have raised. As I was talking with my friend, I remembered writing about that loss. And discovered that Ethan has in fact grown up to be a man that I am proud to have raised. I am proud that Ethan gets along well with his caregivers, that they enjoy having him around. I think that Ethan enjoys being with them also.
There were a lot of things that I expected to get from moving Ethan into his group home. The ability to go out for the evening if I wanted to. Freedom from having to manage all his medical needs--the group home has a medical coordinator who makes all of Ethan's health care appointments, transports him to the appoint, takes care of all his medication refills, and after every appointment sends us a detailed summary of the visit. Freedom from have to wipe his butt every day, and brush his teeth, and clip his fingernails, and on and on and on.
I did not expect to that I would get to feel pride in who Ethan has grown to be. But I did, and that is a precious gift.
