Surprise Party

Youngest Son is turning 5 in a couple of weeks.  I was talking to my ex about his birthday party yesterday.  She said that he told her that he's having a "surprise cowboy party."

Accommodations

We met with several of Oldest Son's teachers yesterday.  He's struggling with homework and figuring out what he is supposed to do, especially with math and science.

I'm concerned about the science teacher.  They have a new science curriculum that is "exploratory."  The students make lots of choices about how the go through the material, and there is less directed learning.  That's difficult for Oldest, his Asperger's gets in the way of that sort of executive function.  The science teacher said something to the effect of not understanding why Oldest was having trouble with this.  I got the sense that she doesn't think he should need accommodations.  Oldest is smart, and he's able to do the work, but he has major trouble organizing things, and his thought process tends to be slow.

It's always frustrating to see a teacher that doesn't want to provide accommodation because he seems "normal" enough.

Celebrating Clothing

On Middle Son's school note today, the "Celebration" was "wore all clothing appropriately to school today."

Hygiene

A couple of weeks ago I cut Middle Son's hair.  I had someone helping me, but it still a huge ordeal.  By the time it was done I had bruises, and one of the towel rods in my bathroom had been torn off the wall.

I was talking with my care-giver about it last night.  She had been talking with my ex about, and about how long Middle Son's nails are (which was something we talked with his teachers about at school last week).  The care giver said that normally she's opposed to sedatives, but in Middle Son's case she thought it was worth talking to his doctor and getting a prescription so that we could do "hygiene day" every 2-3 months.

I think that is a good idea.  I can usually manage to trim his finger nails without a big struggle.  Toe nails are harder.  And frankly, I'm not sure I can cut his hair safely any more.

Still Eligible for Services

This morning a case worker from the Department of Developmental Disabilities came out to do Middle Son's annual eligibility evaluation.  It was pretty mundane.  Unsurprisingly, he still qualifies for services.

I did get a kick out of one thing that she said.  This was the first time we've done the evaluation at my house. In previous years it has been at my ex's house.  The case worker commented about how calm and peaceful things were at my house.  She said that must be a relief to have things so much more peaceful.

Since the divorce, that's been one of my primary goals.  I want a calm, orderly household for myself and my children.  I think that is important for all children, but it is especially important for kids with autism.  Middle Son is hugely oriented around routines, doing the same thing in the same way at the same time.  I think that is a significant part of why his behavior is better at my house.

Organizational Skills

Oldest Son's high school is giving out laptops to all students to use for the school year.  There is a form that has to be filled out, signed, and turned in to the English teacher.  It's due today, so last night we printed out the form and signed it.  I asked him where he was going to put it so that he would remember to turn it in.  He said that he would put it in the front of his binder.

This morning, as he was about to leave, I asked him if he had the form in his binder.  He said he thought so.  I looked on the kitchen table and saw that the form was still there.  He grabbed it and stuck it in the middle of his binder.  I reminded him that he'd said he was going to put it in the front.  So he moved it.

After I got to work, I sent an email to his English teacher telling her that Oldest did have the form, and asking her to prompt him if he forgets to turn it in.

More Problems with Clothes

Yesterday afternoon, I got a text from my ex-wife.  She said that Middle Son keeps taking his clothes off and it was driving her crazy.  She wanted to know what he does at my house.  I texted back that I let him be naked in his room and the bathroom, and occasionally he runs from his room to the bathroom naked.  She said that that was what he is doing at her house.

But he's going from his bedroom to the bathroom at the other end of the house, instead of the bathroom next to his room.  So he's running naked the entire length of the house.

Middle Son has a knack for finding the loopholes.